Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why is Donald Trump criticized by so many people?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I don’t buy bullshit

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Has anyone ever participated in a gang bang and what was it like?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Do all armies have the same rank structure?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

What if the girl says that drama about you dating here? Is that a bad sign?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why is the band Nickelback unliked so much?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Are there any Hollywood celebrities who never divorced? Why does it seem like celebrities are likely to get divorced frequently?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Why would a spouse cheat if the marriage is good?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can read

I can count

Is Europe willing to risk losing its alliance with the United States, if they choose to continue the war in Ukraine?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fakery